Another angel…

Hello everyone,

I would very much like to not be seeing this unfold or have this conversation again. And what is “this” you may be wondering? I am referring to the death of a sweet young girl by the name of Aubreigh Wyatt. I am incredibly saddened to hear this right on the heels of Genzelle. Another case of a beautiful young girl being bullied to death. Aubreigh’s mom has been court ordered to keep quiet and no social media or press. That doesn’t mean I can’t use my voice for her. I Think it’s incredibly unfair to silence her and I think if anything this needs to be a conversation on the forefront even more now.

This beautiful young girl had her whole life ahead of her. She was a girl for god. Walking by the light of his path. She was a sister. She was a daughter. She had many amazing things about her. She was only 13.  She did gymnastics and was loved by many for her bubbly personality. I can’t imagine the pain her family is going through. My heart truly goes out to them.

Just a few months ago, locally we dealt with another young teen girl who had been bullied to the point she took her own life. I hate to see another. The world truly has to change and people desperately need to learn to be kind. Has no one heard Thumper? “If you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothing at all”, This is a lesson I think most people could take to heart. We are often told not to let words hurt us. But words do hurt. And when they are repeated to you everyday you begin to believe them. I know I certainly did. It’s taken years to overcome them and no longer hear them ringing in my ears or echo when I look in the mirror. There is no reason that anyone needs to be this way. It costs absolutely nothing to be kind, and if you can’t be kind then just don’t say anything.. Anyone who’s been bullied didn’t deserve it. To the kids who have died as a result is also horrible. Parents need to do better. Schools need to do better.

I fully believe that if someone is bullied to the point of sucide then those responsible should be charged with murder. It is no different than killing someone in cold blood in my opinion. In this whole process some how the Wyatt family is still the ones ending up in pain. Heather may not be able to share Aubreigh’s story, but I can. And I absolutely every intention of doing so.

This is another example of a death that absolutely could have been prevented. In this case the four girls responsible for Aubreigh’s death and bullying sued Heather. Causing the court to order silence from her. Demanding that she removes herself form all social media. To stop talking about her daughter. TO which It makes me wonder….it seems a little odd that the court is not allowing free speech on the topic. What are they getting out of this?? If your kids are a hundred percent innocent then why does she need to be silenced. I think it’s crossing a line and incredibly suspicious.

The internet can be both an incredible place and horrible one. Sometimes at the same time. Through the internet I was able to learn about both girls. And especially in this case, able to also see the evidence. And there is more than enough of it. The internet is also allowing for people all over to hear her story and share it. Say her name and bring justice. To mourn together and offer our love and company as they battle this. It allows us to show each other that we are never alone. It’s showing both the best and the worst of people. I am extremely grateful for the internet and it allowing me to hear of this so I can advocate and try to bring justice.

In learning about this case, I learned that it was another situation where the school had been informed of the bullying and did nothing. Where at one point they said oh “so and so would never do that”. No punishment and no protection of the victim. After a certain point you get tired and stop reporting or never do it altogether because you learn that it doesn’t matter if you do. Now we are dealing with court cases built to silence Aubreigh’s mom and hide her story. A court case of the girls and their parents defending and minimizing their actions. Or claiming defimation for their girls to be addressed for what they did. They don’t like their kids being the villain in the story so they want it closed.

I am disgusted by not only the school and all the staff who sat by, I am disgusted by the judicial system and the parents. By humanity. We have come to accept the bullying and unkindness. I will be the first to say that I absolutely do not accept this. I want to make change. This has to stop…. are they not going to care until it’s their kid buried before even finding themselves? Are they okay with it till it’s their sister they have to take a balloon to in order to wish them a happy birthday? Are they okay with their grandchild never graduating or getting married? Because those are all things taken away from Aubreigh’s family, and far too many others.

We need to be raising the kids better. We need to be raising kind kids. When bullying is reported It needs to be handled swiftly and severe. More education so we all know what forms bullying takes and how it starts. Often times it gets shoved under the rug a few times before anyone is even talked to. And we need to be handling it the first time and immediately. Not the second time or third. When all these schools say they have a zero tolerance bullying policy, they need to actually mean it. They need to discipline like they mean it. The punishments need to be more than a suspension..I  also believe that they need better counselors hired on at school. We need to stop teaching kids to accept any unkind treatment. Stop saying “Boys will be boys” or “Just walk away”. Have you ever tried to walk away from a bully? It often makes them mad and whatever they do worse. Not to mention they can just follow you and often times they do. The groups made with Kids being bullied and their bully to make amends and learn how to be together needs to stop.

Parents shouldn’t be living in fear of sending their kids to school because they are worried about the bullying they may face. Altering things about their children or going out of their way to attempt to make sure all is trendy and give them everything in hopes someone doesn’t make fun of them. The idea of when a child is born the choice of name is a huge task. So as to try them and make sure that name won’t set your kid up to be picked on.  No parent should  be called down to the school for it. Not receiving texts while at work of the bullying done. Your child begging to be picked up from school or not attend at all.  And most of all no parent should ever find their child deceased, notes from them or bury them. Parents aren’t supposed to bury their children.

It’s incredibly sad that we won’t know who these kids would’ve grown up to be or the things they could’ve accomplished. Maybe one was the next Einstein. Now they are incredible and beautiful angels.

My heart goes out to the families and friends of those affected by suicide and who have lost someone due to it. My heart goes out to all the first responder that take those calls. My prayers go to you. I ask God to hold these sweet angels close to his chest and they know no more pain. I wish that we continue to speak their names and honor their beautiful lives.I pray we continue to fight. I will continue to advocate for change.

If you or someone you know is struggling please reach out. There are people there and that truly care. There is help out there. You can reach the national Suicide hotline is 988 and is open 24/7. Please reach out! And I pray that you know it can get better and there is so much yet to see and do. A permanent solution to a temporary problem a lot of folks say.

THANK YOU
I give you all my love!🧡

A different kind of love

Hey there!!
It’s been a long time since I have posted a blog post. Way too long. I wish I had got on it sooner. I had wanted to be more consistent. I have so many hobbies and things I love to do. I have had other things take priority and set the hobbies in a priority list and some have been ignored completely and that’s not good. It’s time I find peace, I find balance and do the things that I love to do. I love my newest hobby that is Planning in my Happy Planner! You can definitely see more of that on my Instagram that’ll link below. And I will do some posts on here for that as well.

I have finished High school. I have been doing it online through my current college. I am now setting my sights on the SAT and getting into college and getting a bachelor’s degree and if my heart still tells me, I will then head on to med school. I have dreamed of being a doctor for a long time!! It is a huge passion of mine. But I have also fallen in love with other things. So I will start with my bachelor’s degree and decide from there. I also love business and Entrepreneurial things. I have lots of ideas written down for businesses and products. SO Shark Tank if you see this help me!!! LOL! In all honesty, my mind and heart wonder if the medicine is 100% where I want to end up. But I do know 100% that I want to go to college and get a BA. So that’s the next step.

My life is constantly changing. So to give you a complete update would take a massive amount of time and be a very long read. I am not sure that you want that long read. I can say this…I am not one for new year’s resolutions. I prefer to set attainable goals for the year. In 2018 it was to grow in my faith… which definitely happened. My faith was tested and I learned to have childlike faith in God again. I made a few for this year. I made a big one and then some smaller goals. My main goal was to take care of me in every way possible. To be the healthiest I could. To take care of all parts of me like physical, mental, health, all of it. So I have been removing negative things and energy, I have set boundaries, addressed some health issues and have been truly telling my truths and being 100% unapologetically me. Let me tell you that is not easy. It’s harder than anyone could imagine. To fully take care of yourself and do what is best for you is difficult. To put yourself first is hard. Especially if you’re like me. I am focusing on falling in love with myself. I am working the things I enjoy and that makes me happy. My hobbies, My friends, and my family. My priorities are the relationship I have with myself and God. I need to love myself. I need to heal from the things life has dealt me and some of the choices I made. I have to learn to find peace in myself and in God. I am trying to love Kandysse. For everything I am and everything, I am not. I am working on taking care of my body and getting healthy. I Have an amazing care team and have an awesome doctor so I am now able to really work on my health conditions and see the necessary specialists. I am working on eating better, growing my hair, and not biting my nails. Seriously… These are parts of taking care of me. I am doing self-care. I am seeing a therapist again and finding out what I need. What I can do to be the best version of myself. This means I am saying No, I am not letting people walk all over me, I am being kind to myself. I am truly making myself a priority. And when you declare a goal to the universe, If you’re open and willing the universe will help you achieve that goal. That’s what I see happening to me. The Universe is putting things in my path to help me put myself first and achieve this goal. It is teaching me who I am and what I want. How to take care of me. The universe is taking people out of my life that do me no good. Helping change and grow relationships. I am truly being pushed by not only myself but the Universe and God. There is a force greater than me propelling every moment and every event in my life. I feel that I have, in the last two months already made a lot of progress in my choice to take care of me. I have dealt with and confronted some big things in my life and began working on a better me. I am glad that I have. It’s what is right and it’s so important. I will be spending time finding myself. Learning more about me. What I like and What I want to do. I will head to college and truly grow. I hope to continue this past this year, but I needed to start this year.

If you haven’t gotten it about me yet or don’t know me. I am the kind of person who will give and give even when I am empty. I put everyone else in my life before me. I will do anything for those I love and care for. I will give the shirt off my back. And while that’s great it has also, become a toxic trait too. Because I run myself into the ground and feed others when I need to be feeding myself. I have grown to see that I need to fill my cup before I fill others. I need to put my oxygen mask on before those around me. I have spent so much of my life is available to everyone around me, I haven’t been available to kandysse. And this is the year that changes. The year I spend filling my cup. I spend growing. And learning when to give to others. Then it becomes adapting and carrying this lesson in the following years.

I have given so many people pieces of me, I often feel I have nothing left for myself. I have become this half version of myself. Too stretched to be me. Too empty and lost. To recognize when it’s time to take a step back and take care of me. This is so important. I need to be able to help me before I can help others. I need to be in love with me… before I can be in love with others. It’s about balance. And my life has lacked. It has affected so many areas of my life. I haven’t been present for me. I haven’t been there for myself the way I am there for everyone else and that’s not healthy. I have a lot of learning to do and growth. But that’s a huge part of what this year is for. I am going to take time and fall in love with myself. I am going to date myself, I am going to do my hobbies, find balance, spend a lot of time with my family. Like my niece, I am going to hang with my friends. This will be an adventure and be so good for me.

I have already grown since January One. I have made changes. Loved myself more than I have before. I am happy to see the progress already. But there is still so much left to do. So much to go. A big thing I have learned is that no one is really your better half. You’re complete on your own.

With that, I wish you a happy valentines day! I hope you remember that your first love and most important should be with yourself!
There will be more posts. More things to talk about. Stay tuned!!